Gordon's Quad-Tastic Rampage: Four Goals in a Half Shatter UCL Record Books!
Newcastle's Anthony Gordon etched his name into Champions League history by scoring four goals in the first half of a playoff win over Qarabag FK, securing a 5-0 lead at the break. He's only the second player ever to achieve this feat, following Luiz Adriano, while his team joined Bayern Munich as the second to net five in a knockout half. The match ended 6-1, as reported by OneFootball.
Alright, lads, grab a pint and pull up a stool because I've got a tale from the Champions League playoffs that's got the footy world proper buzzing. You know how we Brits love a good hat-trick? Three goals, bang bang bang, usually enough to make you the hero of the night. But over in Germany, they're a bit stricter – nah, it has to be three in one half, none of that full-match nonsense. Fair play, keeps it spicy. Well, forget all that. Newcastle's Anthony Gordon has just turned the script upside down, smashing in FOUR goals in a single half against Qarabag FK. Four! In 45 minutes! That's not a hat-trick, mate; that's a bloody shopping trolley full of goals.
Picture this: Champions League playoff action, Newcastle taking on the Azerbaijani outfit Qarabag. Gordon, the flying winger who's been tearing up the Premier League, decides it's time to go full beast mode. He bags a quartet of strikes before the half-time whistle, with his teammate Nick Woltemade chipping in the fifth to make it a ridiculous 5-0. Qarabag must've been thinking they'd stumbled into the wrong match – perhaps one with under-10s? Gordon's on fire, dancing past defenders like they're traffic cones, slotting home with finesse and power. The full-time score? A comfy 6-1 romp. Job done, history made.
But hold on, what do we even call this madness? A 'quattrick'? Sounds like an Italian pasta dish. Or maybe stick with the German 'Viererpack' – four-pack, like a slab of lager? Nah, let's just call it legendary. Because here's the kicker: Gordon's now only the second player EVER to rattle in four goals in the first half of a Champions League match. The first? Brazilian sharpshooter Luiz Adriano, who did it back in the day. Blimey, elite company right there.
And it's not just Gordon shining solo. Newcastle's the second team in UCL knockout history to hit five in a half. Who were the first? Bayern Munich, of course, in their 2015 quarter-final demolition of FC Porto. Remember that? Lewandowski and co. turned it into a cricket score. Now Gordon and the lads have joined that rarified air. As reported by the sharp folks at OneFootball, this one's etching itself into the annals faster than you can say 'goal difference'.
Let's break it down a bit, pub-style. Gordon's not just lucky; the lad's been cooking all season. Pace to burn, tricks up his sleeve, and a knack for being in the right spot. Against Qarabag, it was like watching a lad with a new pair of boots take on his gran's back garden. First goal: cheeky chip over the keeper. Second: thunderbolt from distance. Third: cool finish after a mazy run. Fourth? Well, by then the keeper was probably begging for mercy. It's the sort of performance that makes you wonder if he's got a cheat code.
For Newcastle fans, this is manna from heaven. UCL playoffs ain't a stroll, especially away to a side like Qarabag who've got some bite. But Gordon's haul turns pressure into a party. Teammate Woltemade gets a nod too – that fifth goal was the cherry on top. And let's not forget the bigger picture: in a tournament full of giants, moments like this remind us why we love the game. Pure, unadulterated chaos.
So, next time someone's banging on about Messi or Ronaldo's records, hit 'em with this: Anthony Gordon, four in a half, UCL history books dusted off. Whether it's a hat-trick, poker, or whatever, the Geordie lad's redefined bonkers. Cheers to that – now, who's buying the next round?