Weekend Bangers: Liverpool-City Slugfest, Classique Madness, and Carrick's United on Fire

Alright, lads, pull up a stool at the pub, crack open a cold one, and let's chat about the footy fixtures you absolutely cannot miss this weekend. I'm your mate from TheFootball.News, and like every Friday, I'm here to sift through the global muck and spotlight the proper belters. We've got derbies hotter than a vindaloo, top-table scraps, and even a nod to the women's game and a Polish rumble. But the real meat? England, France, Portugal, Spain – oh, and that Arne Slot vs Pep Guardiola rematch that's got everyone twitching. Drawing from sharp insights by Julien Laurens at ESPN Italy, here's the rundown.

First up, the granddaddy of recent Premier League grudge matches: Liverpool hosting Manchester City on Sunday at 11:30 a.m. ET (4:30 p.m. GMT). It's not the Klopp-Guardiola soap opera anymore, but Slot versus the eternal Pep in round two. Both sides are wobbling like a drunk on last orders – just one league win apiece in their last six. City are six points off Arsenal's perch (assuming the Gunners don't slip against Sunderland), and Guardiola's scratching his bald head over defensive wobbles and imbalance. Erling Haaland? The Norwegian goal machine's in his worst rut, two goals in 10 games across all comps, one from open play. Blimey, he barely mustered a shot against Spurs last week in that 2-2 draw. But hold up – Antoine Semenyo and Rayan Cherki are firing on all cylinders, proving City can still nick goals from nowhere when they click.

Liverpool? Same boat, leaky at the back and out of kilter up top. Mo Salah's been off-colour since dragging Egypt to fourth at the Africa Cup of Nations – missing sitters like it's his job. The Kop's new kings are Florian Wirtz and Hugo Ekitike, who've been tearing it up and could terrorise City's defence. The Reds sit sixth, scrapping with Chelsea and a resurgent Man United for Champions League spots. They got tonked in Manchester earlier this season, so revenge is on the menu. My shout? Liverpool edge it 2-1. Fingers crossed it's not a tactical snoozefest but a proper goal-fest – both can deliver when the mood takes 'em.

Over in France, brace yourselves for Le Classique: PSG versus Marseille on Sunday, 2:45 p.m. ET (7:45 p.m. GMT). Parc des Princes will be a cauldron of noise, and the PSG ultras are gagging for a show. The Parisians top Ligue 1 by two points from Lens, but they're short on spark – energy levels flatter than a pint left overnight. Sure, they smashed Lille 3-0 with a Dembélé screamer, but their Ballon d'Or star and the rest can't string it together consistently.

Marseille? Dreaming of a rare double over their bogeymen after nicking a 1-0 in September (cheers, Marquinhos og). Roberto De Zerbi's lads are nine points adrift, fresh off a Champions League humiliation and league stumbles. Step up Mason Greenwood, who's been a lone beacon in the gloom. A win here would be party-pooping perfection. Reckon PSG nick it 2-1 at home, though – too much class when it counts, in a game that's always a laugh riot.

Back to Blighty for Saturday's 7:30 a.m. ET (12:30 p.m. GMT) cracker: Manchester United versus Tottenham. Can Michael Carrick keep his interim magic rolling? The ex-midfielder's second spell as caretaker's been flawless – three straight league wins, including Old Trafford heroics against City and a late lash at Arsenal to sit pretty in fourth, a point clear of Chelsea. They've nicked it in the 87th and 94th against the Gunners and Fulham amid pressure spells, but joy's back in the squad. Bruno Fernandes pulling strings from 10, Kobbie Mainoo and Casemiro bossing midfield, and the front three – Bryan Mbeumo, Benjamin Sesko, Matheus Cunha – all chipping in. Spurs fancy a upset, but Carrick's got United purring.

Quick hits elsewhere: Keep an eye on Portugal and Spain's top clashes, a massive Polish derby, and top women's action. Oh, and whispers of Wrexham sniffing Premier League air after Reynolds and McElhenney's five-year graft. Football, eh? What a weekend. Don't blink, or you'll miss the madness.