Records Ripe for the Taking: Haaland, Kane and Co Chasing Glory in Europe's Big Leagues

Picture this: the ball bulges the net, and the commentator loses his mind over some dusty old record. We all love it. But while Lionel Messi's hauls feel like ancient monuments, a few marks across Europe's top divisions are wobbling like a dodgy pub stool. Drawing from insights by ESPN Italy, let's dive into the chase – who's sniffing around, and who's got a snowball's chance?

Premier League: Haaland's Drought, Fernandes' Flair

Erling Haaland's 36-goal blitz in 2022-23 looked mortal after he bagged 14 in his first 11 games this term. But a barren patch – just one in seven from late December to early Feb – has killed that dream. With 22 now, he's parked it. Unlikely to budge his own bar.

Assists? That's where the fun's at. Thierry Henry and Kevin De Bruyne share 20 from yesteryear. Step up Bruno Fernandes with 16. After Ruben Amorim shipped out from Manchester United, Bruno's been dishing dimes – five in his first four post-exit matches. He's closing in like a pint at last orders. Possible? You bet.

Bundesliga: Bayern's Bashers on the Brink

Robert Lewandowski's 41 in 2020-21 edged Gerd Müller's long-standing 40. Harry Kane's got 30 already, firing 10 in his opener five under Vincent Kompany's second crack at Bayern Munich. The title's in the bag again, but can Harry topple Lewy? He's got games left – it's on.

Don't sleep on assists. Thomas Müller's 21 from 2019-20 is under siege by Michael Olise's 19. One more, and it's his. Likely as a Bayern win on a Saturday night.

LaLiga: Messi's Mountains Too Steep

Lionel Messi's 50 from 2011-12? Forget it. Kylian Mbappé's 23 is class, but that's light years off. The Argie's top seven spots with Cristiano Ronaldo are ironclad.

His 20 assists in 2019-20? Lamine Yamal's 10 makes him Messi's mini-me, but no cigar this season. Unlikely.

Serie A: Dimarco's Dishing Delight

Gonzalo Higuaín and Ciro Immobile's 36? Safe as houses. Lautaro Martínez sits on 14 for Inter Milan. Yawn.

But Federico Dimarco, the Nerazzurri left-back, is cooking with 15 against Alejandro 'Papu' Gómez's 16. He rattled off eight in five games from late Jan to mid-Feb. Record's his if he keeps the tap flowing. Yes, mate.

Ligue 1: Zlatan's Still King

Zlatan Ibrahimović's 38 in 2015-16 laughs at Mason Greenwood's 15. The ex-Man United lad edges a tight race, one clear of Joaquín Panichelli. No chance.

Assists? Ángel Di María's 18 dwarfs Ludovic Ajorque and Adrien Thomasson's 8. Monumental ask to catch up. Safe.

Champions League: Mbappé's Euro Dream

Cristiano Ronaldo's 17 from 2013-14 has Mbappé on 13. With legs left, it's possible he'll snag four more. Assists record sits at 9 – details fuzzy, but the goals chat's buzzing.

There you have it – some records tougher than chewing an old boot, others begging to be broken. Kane, Olise, Dimarco, and maybe Fernandes could etch their names in history. Who's your pick to smash it? Fancy a wager over a lager?

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