Butt and Nolan's Wild Claim: Our Doomed 2009 Newcastle Mob Were Better Than This Spurs Side – Here's the Proof XI

Picture this: two Geordie legends, Nicky Butt and Kevin Nolan, propping up the bar on a podcast, supping pints of nostalgia while slagging off Tottenham Hotspur. On 'The Good, The Bad and the Football', they dropped a bombshell – their shambolic Newcastle United team from the 2008/09 relegation season was, in their eyes, a cut above the current Spurs rabble flirting with the drop.

Newcastle's campaign was a car crash: binning a top manager, installing a has-been who couldn't pick his squad out of a lineup, flogging their star man mid-winter, and tumbling under a local lad while half the dressing room packed their bags early. Yet Nolan spots eerie echoes at Spurs this term. 'Spurs fans say they're too big to go down,' he scoffed. 'Bollocks – we were miles better, man for man.' Butt nodded along like it was gospel.

Podcast Pints and Parallels

Nolan didn't mince words: Spurs' 'too big to tumble' vibe mirrors Newcastle's delusion back then. And he's dead serious about his old side's superiority. We begged to differ – that Toon team was a mess, scraping by on scraps of pride.

But to test it properly, let's mash up the best form players from both squads into a dream XI. More ex-Magpies sneak in than you'd expect, but only just. Form over fame, lads – no nostalgia goggles here.

The Ultimate Relegation-Dodger XI

GK: Shay Given (Newcastle)

The Irish shot-stopper was a rock amid the rubble, Newcastle's standout. Selling him to Man City in January? That's when the trapdoor really swung open. Spurs' keepers? Steady but no saviours.

RB: Pedro Porro (Tottenham)

Porro's been decent enough, shuttling around the right flank like a man lost in IKEA. Hooked at Palace after a mare, but edges out Habib Beye's grit.

CB: Cristian Romero (Tottenham)

Romero's chaos is par for the course – wild tackles, red cards, the lot. With Micky van de Ven fading fast, he's the devil we know.

CB: Sebastien Bassong (Newcastle)

Player of the Season for the Toon, then legged it to Spurs amid boardroom bedlam. Called the club a 'shambles' – spot on – and bolted after going on strike.

LB: Jose Enrique (Newcastle)

Enrique pips Djed Spence, who's flashed but flopped lately. The Spaniard was reliable, stuck it out through the Championship hell, and bagged Player of the Year down there.

CM: Archie Gray (Tottenham)

If Spurs sink, Gray walks off to claps. The kid's done a bit of everything – proper grafter with big-club buzz ahead.

CM: Nicky Butt (Newcastle)

Butt himself! Played loads in his swansong, co-captained the Championship charge, then retired proper. No rats abandoning the ship here.

RW: Mohammed Kudus (Tottenham)

Top assister for Spurs, sidelined since New Year. Outstrips even Richarlison for creativity. His gaffer's biggest miss.

LW: Damien Duff (Newcastle)

Duff was Mr Consistent in the gloom, dodging Nolan's 'wants out' list. One Champo game, then Fulham snapped him up for a quick Prem return.

CF: Richarlison (Tottenham)

Brazilian's bagged double any teammate's tally – more than the whole 2009 Newcastle attack combined. Centre-backs snapping at his heels for goals? De Zerbi's nightmare.

CF: Obafemi Martins (Newcastle)

Nigerian nipped in eight goals, unlike sulky Michael Owen. Vowed to fight the Championship fire – sold to Wolfsburg anyway after a 6-1 preseason tonking.

Fair Fight or Geordie Hot Air?

Six Newcastle, five Spurs – closer than Butt and Nolan reckoned. Their black-and-white bias shines through, but Spurs' woes under Roberto De Zerbi (meagre goals, defensive wobbles) do scream 2009 vibes. Too big to go down? History says nah. Newcastle bounced back quick; Spurs might need to dream of a Tonali-style reset. Pour another round – this debate's just warming up.