Records Ripe for the Taking: Kane, Dimarco and Who Else Could Make History This Season?

Picture this: the ball ripples the net, and the commentator loses their mind over some dusty old record. We all love it. As reported by ESPN Italy, a bunch of single-season goal and assist marks across Europe's elite leagues are dangling like low-hanging fruit – or at least, some are. Others? Forget it, they're locked tighter than a miser’s wallet.

With the season charging on, let's crack open the stats and see who's sniffing around glory. From Erling Haaland's own benchmark to Harry Kane's Bundesliga chase, here's the pub chat rundown.

Premier League: Haaland Drought, Fernandes on Fire?

Erling Haaland's 36-goal haul from 2022-23 looks safe. The Man City beast bagged 22 already but hit a rare barren run earlier this year – just one in seven games. No repeat heroics this time, mate.

Assists, though? Thierry Henry and Kevin De Bruyne share the 20-assist crown. Step up Bruno Fernandes with 14. After his old gaffer Ruben Amorim shipped out, Bruno's been dishing dimes – five in his first four post-exit matches. If United's skipper keeps the magic flowing, he could nab a slice of history.

Bundesliga: Kane's Charge and Olise's Vision

Robert Lewandowski's 41 in 2020-21? Harry Kane's got 30 and started like a train: 10 in five. Bayern under Vincent Kompany are flying in his second year, so Lewy's mark – smashed in just 29 games, mind – might wobble.

Assists: Thomas Müller's 21. Michael Olise leads with 16, and it's looking tasty. Bayern's record-breaking vibe could see two crowns topple.

LaLiga: Messi's Fortress Stands Tall

Lionel Messi's 50 from 2011-12? Untouchable. Kylian Mbappé's 23 is class, but nowhere near. The GOAT and CR7 own the top seven – no shocks there.

Assists (20, Messi again): Lamine Yamal's on 10. The Barca kid's got that Messi spark, but unlikely this term. Records like these need freakish seasons.

Serie A: Dimarco's Assist Avalanche

Goals (36, shared by Gonzalo Higuaín and Ciro Immobile)? Nah, Lautaro Martínez's 14 won't touch it.

But assists (16, Alejandro 'Papu' Gómez)? Federico Dimarco's 15 and surging. Inter's left-back dropped eight in five games over a mad January-February spell. This one's Dimarco's for the taking – Serie A's low bar makes it a bargain.

Ligue 1: Zlatan and Di María Sleep Easy

Zlatan Ibrahimović's 38? Safe. Mason Greenwood and Joaquín Panichelli share 14. Tight race, but no cigar.

Assists (18, Ángel Di María): Ludovic Ajorque's 8. Brest's forward needs a miracle run-in.

Champions League: Mbappé's Late Push?

Cristiano Ronaldo's 17 from 2013-14. Mbappé's 13 puts him in the hunt – possibly. Assists (9, James Milner)? Leader unclear, but watch this space.

There you have it – Kane and Dimarco lead the charge, while Haaland and Mbappé ponder what might've been. Records are made to be broken, but some legends are laughing all the way to the hall of fame. What's your bet? (Word count: 512)