Branthwaite to United? Everton Laugh Off 'Advanced Talks' Nonsense

Picture this: you're scrolling X first thing, pint in hand from last night, and bam – Manchester United are in 'advanced talks' for Everton's rock-solid centre-back Jarrad Branthwaite. Sounds juicy, right? Well, hold your horses, because sources close to Goodison Park have slapped that one down faster than a Sean Dyche tackle.

As reported by Harry Watkinson at TEAMtalk, those whispers from a self-proclaimed squad of 'elite reporters' on X are pure fantasy. Everton insiders are adamant: no chats, no doubts, no drama. Branthwaite's locked in until 2030 after penning a bumper new deal last summer, and he's not going anywhere.

Summer Saga Déjà Vu

Remember last summer? United came knocking with bids that Everton swatted away like flies. The Red Devils wanted the 23-year-old England international, but the Toffees held firm. Fast forward to now, and despite Branthwaite's injury nightmare – hamstring surgery sidelining him until January – the rumour mill spins on.

He's only notched eight Premier League outings this term, yet here we are. That X account claimed United were closing in, even tossing in Arsenal youngster Myles Lewis-Skelly as a cheeky double-dip. Caughtoffside on OneFootball echoed the buzz but urged caution – negotiations outside windows? For a key man like Branthwaite? Pull the other one.

Everton see him as their cornerstone, the lad to drag them into Europe. And Branthwaite? He's all in, preaching progress and trophies in a recent chat on the club's site. 'I've been here six years, it feels positive,' he said. 'We're building an identity – success is coming.'

Committed to the Cause

The defender's not mincing words. Ending Everton's trophy drought? 'Absolutely massive.' At 23, he's far from his peak, injury or not. 'Loads more to go,' he insists, vowing to push the team forward under Dyche.

United might fancy a defensive upgrade – who wouldn't with their backline wobbles? – but Branthwaite's off the menu. Lewis-Skelly links feel equally dodgy too; the Gunners' lad's barely featured, but jumping ship to Old Trafford already? Dream on.

Truth is, United's midfield cries out louder than their defence. Casemiro's on the way out, Ugarte's struggling – sort that first, lads.

Verdict: Toffees Triumphant

Everton's confidence is sky-high. They reckon Branthwaite will spearhead their charge for those European spots, and he's buying in hook, line, and sinker. United? Back to the drawing board for that centre-back fix.

So next time X lights up with transfer tittle-tattle, grab the salt shaker. Everton sources have spoken: this one's staying put. Long may the Goodison grit continue – and may United's scouts keep hunting elsewhere.

(Word count: 512)